Tag: Tutor Feedback

Assignment Five

georginie

Here is a link to my fifth assignment:

Assignment Five

I had my last tutorial with my tutor for this module today. We discussed what changes I had implemented from the last tutorial. My tutor said my writing had improved considerably. The clarity has improved which is good news. The changes in writing are not fully done yet and needs fine tuning. 

I wasn’t sure where to put the abstract, but my tutor said I put it in the right place. My abstract needs work. I need to include the main ideas in my work, like a map of my work. I could possibly include around 10 key words. 

My first chapter needs fine tuning so my arithmetic is clearer. For example, the way I have written implies that history hasn’t changed things. 

In my second chapter I need to include more about the FSA for my argument. What I have already written is historically, I need to take it to the next level. We also discussed my section about Catherine Opie, my tutor suggested possibly cutting it out if I cannot rework it to fit my argument. The images I’ve used do not relate well, I either need to explain it or cut it out. 

My tutor said my work in chapter three on pedagogy is good. In my research I managed to find one of the key academics, Nochlin. My tutor says I have some good sources.  

Overall I need to tweak a few sentences, develop a bit more, and interact with the quotes I have used more consistently. My tutor did say that I have implemented the previous feedback well and if I carry on developing at the same rate, I can submit for the November assessment. 

Here is the Annotated File from my tutor:

Annotated CommentsDownload

Here is my tutor report, filled in by myself and my tutor:

A5 – Feedback FormDownload

Feedback for the last draft

Here is the annotated essay from the final feedback:

Tutor Comments 2Download

Responding to the Feedback

Whilst my work has improved, there are still a few tings to work on. Basically I need to fine tune, but these things need to be done for the work to be suitable for submitting for assignment. I am going to research a bit more into the FSA and include this in my second chapter. 

My tutor said that I needed to improve my work before submitting and offered to view my work again before completion. I will make any changes I need to and then will email it through again. 

Final Draft – Submission Two

From my feedback for this draft I am happy that I’ve implemented the feedback. There are a few minor things that I will be addressing prior to submitting for assessment in March.  

Assignment Four

georginie

Here is a link to my fourth assignment:

Assignment Four

I had my feedback tutorial for assignment four today with my tutor. My tutor stated that my voice is starting is show through in my work but there are areas that are lacking. For example, my methodology is not fully evident in the document. It may be a case of clarifying things, adding a few sentences and explaining my reasoning. One part that needs clarifying is where I say that I will be looking at certain things but not others. Whilst word count is a valid reason, I still have the final say of what is included, I need to explain why I made these decisions. My tutor also said in certain parts, I sound unsure and uncertain, especially when I say ‘I think’. To help this, I need to weave sources with ideas to back them up and create a strong base. I need to establish my ideas with sources, by creating a relationship between them. Some of my writing is too ‘wordy’, so I can cut a bit out here. This is a problem as it obscures the topic. 

In my second chapter, I look at the male gaze. My tutor said that my introduction is good, but the rest is fragmented. The main theorist who looks into the male gaze is Laura Mulvey, yet her work is missing from my research. My comparison of Dorothea Lange and Ansel Adams need amending and re-developing. I need to give the history behind them, for example Dorothea Lange worked for the Farm Security Administration which was a government organisation. This bears relevance to my comparison. I need to make clear that one of the images I used for comparison are portraits, not landscape, so I can explain their relevance. I also need to look again at my comparison of Catherine Opie’s work and her aim. Especially when looking at the technically perspectives. 

In my third chapter, I discuss pedagogy, as this topic was quite new to me, there some are some issues. I need to make it clear that pedagogy is all education. I need to look at the term androgogy, and talk about how it is not an accepted term. I can also bring here how pedagogy can be used to help adults amended their thoughts. 

Here is my annotated document:

A4 – Annotated FileDownload

Here is my feedback report that I filled in with my tutors additional comments:

Feedback ReportDownload

Responding to the Feedback

My feedback session raised a few points where I need to work on and are lacking. I need to explain my reasoning. For example I need to say why I have included what I  have but excluded something else. I realised I haven’t done this and will work on it for my final draft. 

I need to use my sources and weave their arguments and explain how they relate to my own arguments. 

I also need to bring in the work of the main theorists like Laura Mulvey. My research does look at her work but I need to properly integrate her theories into my work as it will be valuable for my work. 

I will take this feedback on board and try to remedy it.  

Assignment Three

georginie

Here is the annotated file I received back from my tutor:

Assignment Three – With CommentsDownload

Here is the feedback that I filled in with additional comments form my tutor:

Feedback Report – Assignment ThreeDownload

I had my feedback tutorial today (13/3/2020). Before it, I was convinced that I was heading in the wrong direction and my work and research was rubbish. But this wasn’t completely the case. There are issues but these can be worked on and addressed, so I felt happier after the tutorial. 

The first thing was to change the word document to UK English. I could have sworn that I did this after the last tutorial, so I will have to check and see if my computer actually stored the change. 

The next point my tutor made was that I have done a lot of research, which is good but there lacks an explicit central thread. The things I need to address and answer are why is it important and why this topic. She said even though it is a niche topic, show that I am the most knowledgable person there. I like this advice. I have the research, and will add to it, I just need to analysis it and use it to support my ideas. 

I sent my introduction and my first chapter. My tutor said that I am mainly stating an idea and leaving it up to the reader to fill in the blanks, and I agree. Reading back over the chapter now, I can see the issues and mistake plain as day. I need to take greater care in future chapters with regards to this. One point in chapter one, I talk about the history, here I literally just talked about the history, but my tutor suggested talking about how it has progressed as this will add another dimension to my work ideas and thought process. 

When using a quote or paraphrasing, I need to take about it in their own context, then link it to my idea and thus it brings it into a new context. This linking is an important aspect, which is currently missing. When I ay something, I will need to explain why or why note s my tutor says this will leave people wondering. 

My tutor also recommends that I pay attention to my methodology as this in turn will help my work develop. I need to know why I am researching this, why is it important, and what is the issue in the topic. There should be a flow from question through to solution. This will bring the work together and create a solider piece of work. 

Lastly, she said that the ultimate goal is my own ideas. This is the key. The sources are to support and build my own ideas. To be honest, I have ideas, I know I do, these ideas helped me form my research. But I will admit to having trouble putting them down. Instead of analysing, I am describing. Instead of compiling their work as the idea, I need to explain my idea with support of these sources. I think this is the key part for me, I do have the ideas, it’s just the writing and analysis I am having problems with. But I can and will work on it for my future submissions.  

Responding to the Feedback

I feel that any issues I have with my work can be worked on, this is not how I felt before submitting this work, so I pleased about this. 

I still need to create an explicit central thread to my work, I need to be very specific. 

I need to talk about context when using quotes of paraphrasing, as this will aid the reader and my explanations better, and I can then create a link between it and my work. I need to use the sources as a support to build my own ideas. I will take this on board for my next assignment.  

Assignment Two

georginie

Here is the annotated file I received back from my tutor:

Literature Review – With CommentsDownload

Here is the feedback form that I filled in with additional notes from my tutor:

Feedback ReportDownload

I had a video feedback tutorial with my tutor on the 19th of November 2019 for assignment two. My tutor starts by addressing the technical issues surrounding my literature review. She advised me to check that my word document is set to UK English. This will help with spelling, as there was a few spelling mistakes. There were also numerous grammatical errors. These involve using the wrong tense, missing words, and apostrophes. She also advised the if a sentence has a running idea, I should use a semi-colon. I should also try to stick to one idea per sentence, instead of a sentence containing several. I did proofread this assignment, but have obviously missed quite a lot, so I will have to be more diligent in the future.  

We then moved onto my literature review. My tutor stated that see could see that I had done the work but the literature review wasn’t quite right. I need to center it around academic texts, choosing around three and go from there. I would need to summaries what the texts are saying, analysis it extensively and then state how this information informs my work. She also advised me not to look so narrowly when researching. The area I have chosen is quite focused and is a niche area, so there is a limited volume of research. My tutor advised me to widen my research, for example looking At gender theory. We talked about working on the literature review before starting assignment three, this is what I shall do. I will be reworking my literature review by summarising, analysing, and linking it to my work. I will be amending my submission dates in light of reworking this assignment, just so I have enough time and am not rushing.   

Responding to the Feedback

I need to address the technical issues with my work. These are basic things that is being raised. I do proof-read but I have obviously missed quite a few issues here. 

The basis for my literature review is there but it is not evident in my assignment, instead it can be found on my research page. I need to rework this assignment quite extensively. I did look into what should be in a literature review and obviously mis-interpreted it. I will also widen my research area as there may be topics that relate but are not exactly on my topic, these may be helpful. I am going to rework my literature review in light of my recent feedback. 

Assignment One

georginie

Here is the annotated file I received back from my tutor.

A1 – Annotated FileDownload

Here is the feedback report.

A1 Feedback ReportDownload

Feedback from Annotated Work Notes

My tutor sent my essay back with annotated comments. I will look at them first. 

My essay had a few grammatical errors, I did proofread but obviously missed these. 

The first point is that I need to explain what and why the pilgrimage is for men. What is the journey and who sees it as a male pilgrimage. Here is a link to my research on this pilgrimage, which explains it. My wording could have been better whilst explaining in the essay, but this link will clarify things: 

Pilgrimage

I made a point about the media influencing how we see and our expectations of women, my tutor says that the media has propated a established notion. They have done this subtly whilst appearing to liberate some underrepresented groups. She advised me to look a Baudrillard’s Simulacra and Simulation. 

I talked briefly about religious symbols, that they have another purpose other than for worship and that is their aesthetic value. My tutor agrees and goes on to say that religions are concerned with the right way to represent the divine. This has been the cause of several conflicts for example the Byzantine Iconoclast wars and the Orthodox-Catholic Schism. I knew that the portrayal of the symbols is very important to the religion but I hadn’t heard of these wars, so it will be interesting to read about them. 

I talked about my work showing a postmodern dystopia but my tutor states that I need to explain this better as my images do not show this properly yet. 

I compared the images of Catherine Opie and Angel Adams. My tutor says I need to talk about why his gaze qualifies as male. She advised me to look at other female photographers of his era who used a similar approach. Here is the link to where I look into gazes:  

Gaze

At one point I mention Visual Culture. My tutor picked up on this and believed I meant visual culture theories. She was right, I will change this. 

Formative Feedback

I received my tutor feedback report alongside my essay. This time my tutor gave written feedback as this assignment is diagnostic. 

She states that my clear and often eloquent. She mentions where my proofreading failed and two issues with apostrophes. She says that my text flows well and logically. I show my intention and follow a concise argumentation path. She praised my research and referencing. But I need to explain, elaborate and analyse. This will produce a better argument when making a point. 

She has provided advice in anticipation of the future assignments. Firstly about the use of quotations. Quotations should be seen as words of authority and should be used to support my work. If I use a quote which isn’t exactly on the topic, I will need to explain why I have choosen it. 

When looking at an image, I need to take a similar approach to that of quotations. For future assignments, I should use the images in relation to the point I am making. 

My tutor has provided a list of books to read. They are:

Marina Warner. Alone of All her Sex: The Myth and Cult of the Virgin Mary. 

Jean Baudrillard. Simulacra and Simulation. 

Peter Brown. “The crisis of the image: the Byzantine iconoclast controversy?” In The Rise if Western Christendom: Triumph and Diversity AD200-1000. 

Victor Turner and Edith Turner. Image and Pilgrimage In Christian Culture. 

My tutor believes my research proposal is viable and interesting. I need to address any issues and fine tune my topic further. She has given my seven questions to answer: 

  1. What is it that you find interesting about this project? What drives you to undertake this? 
  2. Why is it important to examine this topic?
  3. What theoretical resources are out there that can help you develop your thinking and approach?
  4. What visual work can you utilise to develop this work?
  5. Consider a primary bibliography of the most relevant sources. 
  6. Draw upon the work you have done for your research dossier and plan and merge with your research proposal. 
  7. What are your strengths on this topic? Similarly, what do you anticipate as more difficult, problematic and which is likely to require more of your attention?

My tutor ends by stating my strengths lie in my research, methodological skills and clear writing. But I need to work on my topic being fine tuned and I need to explain, elaborate and analyse. 

Responding to the Feedback

My first take home point was the grammatical errors in my work, I need to address these. I also need to work on my analysis. Whilst my worked flowed and was presented in a logical way, I need to fine tune my work further. I will take these comments on board for my next assignment.