Assignment Three

Here is the annotated file I received back from my tutor:

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Here is the feedback that I filled in with additional comments form my tutor:

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I had my feedback tutorial today (13/3/2020). Before it, I was convinced that I was heading in the wrong direction and my work and research was rubbish. But this wasn’t completely the case. There are issues but these can be worked on and addressed, so I felt happier after the tutorial. 

The first thing was to change the word document to UK English. I could have sworn that I did this after the last tutorial, so I will have to check and see if my computer actually stored the change. 

The next point my tutor made was that I have done a lot of research, which is good but there lacks an explicit central thread. The things I need to address and answer are why is it important and why this topic. She said even though it is a niche topic, show that I am the most knowledgable person there. I like this advice. I have the research, and will add to it, I just need to analysis it and use it to support my ideas. 

I sent my introduction and my first chapter. My tutor said that I am mainly stating an idea and leaving it up to the reader to fill in the blanks, and I agree. Reading back over the chapter now, I can see the issues and mistake plain as day. I need to take greater care in future chapters with regards to this. One point in chapter one, I talk about the history, here I literally just talked about the history, but my tutor suggested talking about how it has progressed as this will add another dimension to my work ideas and thought process. 

When using a quote or paraphrasing, I need to take about it in their own context, then link it to my idea and thus it brings it into a new context. This linking is an important aspect, which is currently missing. When I ay something, I will need to explain why or why note s my tutor says this will leave people wondering. 

My tutor also recommends that I pay attention to my methodology as this in turn will help my work develop. I need to know why I am researching this, why is it important, and what is the issue in the topic. There should be a flow from question through to solution. This will bring the work together and create a solider piece of work. 

Lastly, she said that the ultimate goal is my own ideas. This is the key. The sources are to support and build my own ideas. To be honest, I have ideas, I know I do, these ideas helped me form my research. But I will admit to having trouble putting them down. Instead of analysing, I am describing. Instead of compiling their work as the idea, I need to explain my idea with support of these sources. I think this is the key part for me, I do have the ideas, it’s just the writing and analysis I am having problems with. But I can and will work on it for my future submissions.  

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Responding to the Feedback

I feel that any issues I have with my work can be worked on, this is not how I felt before submitting this work, so I pleased about this. 

I still need to create an explicit central thread to my work, I need to be very specific. 

I need to talk about context when using quotes of paraphrasing, as this will aid the reader and my explanations better, and I can then create a link between it and my work. I need to use the sources as a support to build my own ideas. I will take this on board for my next assignment.