Assignment Four – First Draft

Brief

Submit the draft manuscript for your extended written project, observing the following submission guidelines:

• 5,000 words in length (+/- 10% maximum). This excluded quotations, footnotes, bibliography and direct quotations.
• Your extended written project must be typed using Microsoft Word or similar word processing software. Don’t use design software such as Adobe InDesign. It should be A4, portrait orientation, set at 12pt in a plain typeface, at 1.5 line spacing.
• Your extended written project must be fully illustrate and referenced and have a complete list of references and separate bibliography. Include a contents page and list of illustrations, and appendices where necessary.
• Incluse a cover page, with your name and student number, course title, the titles of your extended written project and work counts, including and excluding footnotes and quotations. Consider the title of your extended written project carefully. It should be succinct (one line maximum) and hint at the subject of your extended written project. Your title should entice the reader, but don’t be frivolous and undermine the overall academic tone.
• Use ‘auto text’ to insert page numbers (starting from the Introduction). This is not only good practice but will allow your tutor and the assessors to refer to specific points in their feedback.
• Submit your work as either a Word document or PDF, or hard copy. Liaise with your tutor for their preferred format.

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Assignment Four

Here is my fourth assignment which is the first draft of my 5000 word essay:

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Word Count

The limit for this essay is 5000 words +/- 10%. Before I submitted my first draft, I have 6594 words excluding quotes etc. It was quite a lot over. But I did have leeway and scope to cut it down. I contacted my tutor to ask whether I should cut the word count down before submitting or in light of feedback. She advised to make multiple sweeps of my work and cut out where possible or rephrase sentences so they are smaller. I have now down this and managed to get down to 5489 words, which is in the 10% leeway.

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Assignment Notes

After feedback from my tutor on my introduction and my first chapter (assignment three), I revisited them to work on the advice.

My introduction is tailored to introduce the topic and provide a very brief account of what I intend to do. 

My first chapter has been amended and looks at the reasoning behind how the inequality spread in the art world and into landscape photography. 

In my second chapter, I look at the male gaze and how I think it has influenced society and our perception of landscape photography. I believe the male gaze plays a part in our perception of the landscape. We are use to seeing images by male photographers, we are effectively seeing the world through a male perspective. I looked at how some female artists are addressing the male gaze, they are contrasting their work against Ansel Adams’ landscapes to highlight their female gaze. I believe this is an important part to look into as it looks at how we see landscape images, the hidden sub-conscious narrative within them and how female artists are using their work to highlight a gendered gaze. 

In my third chapter, I put forward an idea that could be implemented to help fight the inequality effectively. I looked at how galleries can help the immediate problem. I then look into pedagogy and how this could effectively be used to teach the next generation and stop inequality across the board. I believe pedagogy would be a tremendous step in helping gender inequality not just in landscape photography, but it would help the inequality in everyday life. It would be beneficial for the generations to come. 

In my conclusion, I bring everything together and bring my work to a close.  

I have set-out my document with a cover page, which includes my name, student number, title, and word counts with and without quotations. Next I have my contents page, then the introduction, chapter one, chapter two, chapter three, conclusion, references list, figures list and then the bibliography. 

My research has aided in my assignment and has formed the bulk of my research folder. My research has taken many forms, from books and journals, to websites and information pamphlets. 

Here is a link to my research folder page, which includes a full bibliography:

Research Folder

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Tutor Feedback

Here is a link to my tutor’s feedback for this assignment and also my comments and how I am responding to the feedback:

Tutor Feedback

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