Tag: Assignment Five

Rework – Final Draft

georginie

I have reached the end of my course and have compiled my final submission for assessment. 

I have edited my extended written project extensively along the way in light of feedback from my tutor, and this is my final submission: 

Extended Project – STEWART – 515211 – CSDownload

My work is titled – Gender Inequality in Landscape Photography.

My work features an abstract, a content page, an Introduction, three main chapters, a conclusion, a references list, a figures list and a bibliography. I have noted the word count on the first page of the document alongside the title and any relevant information. 

Assessment Criteria

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Assessment Criteria

Assignment Five

Demonstration of subject based on knowledge and understanding

I believe I have demonstrate my knowledge of my subject. I have researched the topic extensively and have used this research in the formation of my essay. I have brought my knowledge and research together to form my final essay. I have explored various topics within my subject area and have brought these together in a coherent manner and have presented them together in my work. 

Demonstration of research skills

I have done some in-depth research into gender inequality in landscape photography. My research folder in evident for this. I have looked at various primary and secondary sources, in the form of books, journals, research papers, and websites. I have looked at the topic specifically but also looked further a field and have used that knowledge and explained in my work why it is relevant. I believe I had done extensive research for my work. 

Demonstration of critical and evaluation skills

I have presented my ideas and have provided an analysis and an evaluation. I have brought ideas together and analysed them and gave my own reasons. I felt I was critical of what research I would use as I had to analysis each resource and decided what to use and what not to use. I believe my evaluation skills can be seen in my final essay. I have brought my ideas together using my research and have presented complete final essay. 

Communication  

I have written blog post throughout my course, which I believe are clear and explain what I am doing. I believe I have communicated my ideas well. It is something that I have worked on from assignment three and have developed significantly. My tutor has mentioned that my sentences needed changing as they can be too wordy and I need to do a general proof-read, which I have done. I went over my work and changed any sections that didn’t make or could have been said easier. 

Assignment Notes

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Following my tutor tutorial on my first draft of my essay, I have made some changes. I have gone through and addressed the issue my tutor has highlighted. I have taken out the waffly bits of writing and have taken pieces out that were not need. 

I have changed several things throughout my work. I have made minor changes to chapter one. I have re-worked chapter two. I have kept some aspects the same but have added new information. The majority of chapter three is the same to the first draft, but I have done some minor changes here too.  

I have written my abstract which has come in at under 500 words. I did some research into abstracts before writing mine, I wanted to make sure I was writing the correct things in it. I have placed my abstract after my title page. I am not sure whether this is the correct place or whether it needs to be on a completely separate document. 

My written project take the following format:

  • Title Page (Including title and word counts) 
  • Abstract
  • Contents Page
  • Introduction
  • Chapter One
  • Chapter Two
  • Chapter Three
  • Conclusion
  • References
  • Figures
  • Bibliography

I have included the images within the actual text as I felt it was easier to see the images next to the text that is exploring them. 

I believe this format is correct, and looks right. 

My work count has come in at 5384 without the quotes and referencing. It is 9181 in total including the referencing, quotes and bibliography. Without the bibliography it is 5929 words. The abstract is 465 words. 

Assignment Five

georginie

Here is a link to my fifth assignment:

Assignment Five

I had my last tutorial with my tutor for this module today. We discussed what changes I had implemented from the last tutorial. My tutor said my writing had improved considerably. The clarity has improved which is good news. The changes in writing are not fully done yet and needs fine tuning. 

I wasn’t sure where to put the abstract, but my tutor said I put it in the right place. My abstract needs work. I need to include the main ideas in my work, like a map of my work. I could possibly include around 10 key words. 

My first chapter needs fine tuning so my arithmetic is clearer. For example, the way I have written implies that history hasn’t changed things. 

In my second chapter I need to include more about the FSA for my argument. What I have already written is historically, I need to take it to the next level. We also discussed my section about Catherine Opie, my tutor suggested possibly cutting it out if I cannot rework it to fit my argument. The images I’ve used do not relate well, I either need to explain it or cut it out. 

My tutor said my work in chapter three on pedagogy is good. In my research I managed to find one of the key academics, Nochlin. My tutor says I have some good sources.  

Overall I need to tweak a few sentences, develop a bit more, and interact with the quotes I have used more consistently. My tutor did say that I have implemented the previous feedback well and if I carry on developing at the same rate, I can submit for the November assessment. 

Here is the Annotated File from my tutor:

Annotated CommentsDownload

Here is my tutor report, filled in by myself and my tutor:

A5 – Feedback FormDownload

Feedback for the last draft

Here is the annotated essay from the final feedback:

Tutor Comments 2Download

Responding to the Feedback

Whilst my work has improved, there are still a few tings to work on. Basically I need to fine tune, but these things need to be done for the work to be suitable for submitting for assignment. I am going to research a bit more into the FSA and include this in my second chapter. 

My tutor said that I needed to improve my work before submitting and offered to view my work again before completion. I will make any changes I need to and then will email it through again. 

Final Draft – Submission Two

From my feedback for this draft I am happy that I’ve implemented the feedback. There are a few minor things that I will be addressing prior to submitting for assessment in March.